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The year was 1813. I remember it well for it was one of many battles in who would own the Alamo. José Bernardo Gutiérrez de Lara and former U.S. Army officer Augustus Magee entered Texas from Louisiana, and advanced toward San Antonio. After defeating royalist troops outside the town, the rebel army took San Antonio. Spanish governor Manuel Salcedo and other officials were executed. The victorious Gutiérrez declared Texas' independence and drafts a constitution, although he was soon forced from power and removed from the province. Again, the revolutionary triumph was fleeting; a Spanish royalist army under General José Joaquín de Arredondo crushed the republican army at the Medina River, and recaptured San Antonio.

I was one of the soldiers under General de Arrendondo's command. After we retook San Antonio I was reassigned to defend the Alamo from American forces that were threatening Mexico's claimed territory. Why, you ask? Because my expertese was demanded in the fight, of course. I was Montero 'El Amo' Gutiérrez. I say 'was' because the events that took place between San Antonio and Alamo were what began the long tale of what was to become of me today.

One black night, en route to the Alamo, I came across an hombre who called himself Alajandro Campillo. He was a man.. shroud in darkness. I could feel the evil resonating from him. It was foul. Yet it was when he expressed himself a vampiro that my attention was captured. He told me he could help me even more in my fighting. Said that he could make me a 'caballero de la oscuridad' .. a knight of darkness.. with no weaknesses. He said I'd be a GOD among men. So I said sure! Why not!

*shakes his head*

Let me tell you something about things, amigos. When something sounds too good to be true, it is. What I became was no god but a demon in man's clothing. Forced to feed off the blood of the living and .. well let me tell you I've put tastier things in my mouth, ay. The only upside? Weeelll I could not be killed except the whole stake-in-the-heart, decapitation, burn the body thing you know what I mean.

So si, my history laid out. Not getting anywhere. *ssiiiiiigh* .. alright well during this time I had fallen in love with a mujer fina *kisses his fingers* .. a señora like no other. We were made to be, she and I. My heart could belong to no other. The rest of me, though.. *tilts his head from side to side* Well I can't really say that. I was a condemned womanizer. I could not keep my hands off the gatito when it was in front of me *wiggles eyebrows* ..

So the day finally came when I met my maker. As all lives do, mine came to an abrupt pointy end of a slayer. Note to self: Do NOT hit on slayers. It was my un amor verdadero who begged the higher powers for my survival. But the higher powers, see, are mean, nasty, FILTHY energías with sick senses of humor. They traded my life for hers and not only that! They reincarnated me to live eternally as the single most horrible.. most HATED thing that could ever be imagined..

A cat! I loved women, see? Get it? Pussy? Pussy Cat? Si, the higher powers suck.

SO! Now here I live, el gato de callejón, forced to wander from place to place for eternity not quite sure how to kill myself and die. This is my hell *hangs head* this is my eternal torment. I DESERVE this! ... or so I keep telling myself.

After watching Mexico degrade itself to the economic agujero de la mierda .. or shit hole for short.. I decided to wander back to Texas. Well.. that was a mound of fun *sneer* so I meandered my way to California. I always heard Los Angeles had become an interesting town to live...

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